Just as I was beginning to write this post an ant crawled on my screen....just thought you would all like to know. It kinda scared me cause I wasn't expecting it.:)
This summer has been very interesting. So far I have worked almost double what I worked last year, met the man of my dreams, made several visits to Vermillion, fought with my mother, and sang with the band at my church. I'm kinda stuck between wanting summer to be over so I can start school again and spend more time with Kevin, and not wanting it to end so I can sleep in and keep working at Lewis.
I want things to speed up because it kills me every time Kevin and have to separate. I go to work not really caring what other people's problems are because I would much rather be spending time with him. This is all very new for me. My past relationships have all been very secretive. I hid them from my parents and friends at school, with the exception of Kayla, because they really didn't mean anything to me. With Kevin everything is different. I love just being with him. We could be doing the weirdest things and still be having fun. Right now, I just miss him. Which is also a new thing for me cause I've never really missed being around someone. Don't get me wrong I miss my family and friends when I'm not around them but this is just different. I'm not as happy when I'm not with him and I'm a very positive person. I love him so much!!! I think I've said that in every post but it is true!! I've never had this feeling before. We can talk about anything and everything. I'm counting down the days until I get to see him again. (six more days!!!)
I want things to slow down because I get to sing at church. I've wanted to be in the church band since I was 12. I would help them set up and put away every Sunday morning as well as do sound checks for them. I can now lift a speaker onto its stand all by myself. But my mom always told me that I wasn't allowed to sing because I was the pastor's daughter. I think she wanted to save me from people saying I only got to sing because of my dad and the fact that she was in the band. I also wasn't allowed to try out for solos at church because I had to let the other kids have a chance at it. One of the biggest blows to my heart was the winter they chose my sister to sing a verse of silent night over me because they needed a younger sounding voice. I was still happy for her but it hurt a little that they didn't pick me. In resent years I came to the realization that no matter how much I helped them all out they weren't required to give me a spot in the band. I was expecting something in return. So I stopped helping them set up. I know it seems like I became selfish but I was just tired of doing all that work for so little reward. Then a few weeks after I got home for summer, one of the girls in the band decided to take the summer off. My mom offered me the position and I took it. I love doing this, even if I do spend four hours at church every Sunday.
time is a strange thing. I am just happy that my life is going so well right now. I can't wait to see what will happen next.
Favorite quote "Live your life so the preacher wont have to lie at your funeral."
Ash
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