so Kevin and I have been dating for just over five months and last night we had our "first" fight. We have had disagreements before, like we can't decide were to eat or who will pay, but never an "I'm mad at you" fight. The worst part is that I totally started it.
We had just gotten back from the Mozart concert in Sioux City and Kevin had to go to work. I decided to go out to Pro's with some friends. We then decided to go back to the house and hang out. I thought it would be funny to text Kevin at work pretending to be smashed. Then he texted Chris asking if I was really drunk. Chris trying to make a joke texted him back saying "yes she's so drunk she's in bed with Tim," which was totally false. I love Kevin. I would NEVER do that to him. I was trying to get Kevin's attention because I like to have conversations with him while he is at work but Kev really doesn't text well. (no offence honey(;) I'll start texting him and then he'll stop. Anyway, unfortunately for Chris, Kevin did not take this text very well. He kinda got mad and ended up calling me wanting to know what was going on. I'm not going to lie, I was pissed. I was mad because he wasn't trusting my judgment.
But I could also see his side. He was probably upset for not being able to spend the night with us and I wasn't helping. I miss him when he's at work. Thankfully we both understood that this whole thing was stupid and we made up when he got home. Though I was kinda glad he had seven hours to think about how stupid he was being. (it's selfish of me but really don't care)
We are good now and it makes me happy.
but Chris is still an ass (; jk.
Other than that things are getting better. I'm still stressed out but Kevin, friends and ultimate Frisbee are helping. Juries are coming and I really want them to stay away. My mom keeps calling me. Sometimes she calls and I'm watching a movie or out with my friends so I plan on calling her back after that but then she will call me again that night and again in the morning. I keep telling her that I'll call her when I get the time which is when I'm not out with my friends and not asleep. She can be very impatient.
Thanksgiving is coming up. I'm super excited because Kevin will be coming with me to my grandma's and I'll get to see all of my work friends at Lewis. Yay!
peace out
Ash
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Wishing you were somehow here again
I don't know who said it first but I think they were right, "God must have needed a drummer." Aaron Hohwieler was my second cousin, and just because I know families can be confusing I will explain.
YOU CAN SKIP! This is my family tree. If anyone is actually reading this and doesn't care just skip this part.
There once were three brothers and three sisters. The brothers names were Jerry, Eldon, and Rollie. The sisters names were Karen, Jan, and the third has never been introduced to me so I have no idea who she is or if she is still alive. I also don't know who is the oldest of the first two in both families but the oldest brother married the oldest sister and the second brother married the second sister. Rollie married a girl named Dianne. They had two daughters named Abby and Tiffany. Abby got married to some guy I can't remember and had their daughter Libby, Abby and what's his name just got divorced. Tiffany also got married but I don't remember what her husbands name is either or the name of her son who is about 3 years old. Jerry and Karen had two children, Chad and Tanya. Chad married Suzette and they had two children, Aaron and Jessie. Tanya married Tim and they have two children, Bailie and Logan. Eldon and Jan got married and had four children. First was Tammy who married John and they have four children, Phil, Maggie, Jack, and Paul. Second was Terri who married Randy and had three children, Ashley(me), Ben, and Taryn. Third was George who married Nancy and they have three children, Andy, Brad, and Jordon. Last was Lyndon who married Shannon and they have four children, Chris, Ryan, Laura, and Luke. The oldest of the grandchildren in my section of the family is Andy and he is 22 while Luke is the youngest at 8. I am the oldest girl of all the cousins and second cousins and for this honor I got a special plate that my great-grandmother left me in her will. Note my enthusiasm. woo-hoo.
BACK ON TRACK. (You can start reading again.)
Aaron, Chris, and I were born within three months of each other. Chris and I went to the same elementary school until his family moved away. Aaron and I went to the same middle school and high school. Since our last names are so similar, we always ended up in line together for the important stuff. In high school, before they changed the system, we had lockers right next to each other. Once my brother and sister came to high school, we would see him and his family at all of the band concerts and marching band competitions. Every semester our school had a list of the people who made the honor roll. If you made it you got to miss class for about an hour for a little ceremony. There was always a speaker who took way too long and was not very interesting. My dad always came to see me or my siblings since each grade had a different day. Sometimes I would get to see Aaron at these events as well as his mom or dad. At graduation, we sat right next to each other and complained about how our mothers were driving us insane with all the open house crap. We were both excited to get out of the house. Ben and Aaron were really close because they were both in SuFuDu. I loved getting to see them perform. Aaron was so good on the snare.
Aaron and Chris were roommates last year and this year at SDSU. They were really close and always got into so much trouble. Last year Chris "fell asleep", more than likely passed out drunk, and Aaron shaved his head. According to my mom and Aunt Tammy, they still hadn't gotten in as much trouble as George, Lyndon, and Chad when they were in school.
I found out about Aaron's death at work. My mom called me but I didn't answer cause I thought she was just calling to check up on me. But then my dad called me right after that so I thought it might be something serious. I answered and my dad was crying. The first thought that popped into my head was I hope its not Grandma. This was worse. When he said Aaron my mind went blank. I thought he was joking. Aaron was my age there was no way he could be dead. I stayed at the bump for two more hours. The whole time I was still in shock. My mind kept saying there's no way this could be true. After my shift got over I called my mom. Once I heard her voice the tears came very quickly. I couldn't even talk I just cried into the phone. Since Kevin didn't get off work for another hour I went over to Kayla and Brianna's place. They were really nice about everything. Kayla had been in band with Aaron and was going through almost the same thing. She got me to calm down. After Kevin took me home, I couldn't stop the tears. He didn't know this but I was up crying for most of the night. I tried not to wake him up. He has been so good to me through this whole thing. I know Chris, Laura, Kayla, and Brianna all told me not to go to class the next day but it was really Kevin who convinced me to go back to Sioux Falls. I didn't want to miss Chamber though. We were getting ready for our concerts. Plus I really didn't want to give some of the people in the group more reason to dislike me. I cried through Abide With Me.
Going home was a good idea. It was nice to be with my family even though we all just sat around crying. My Great-Aunt Karen was the first one to hug me when we got over to the house. She said to me, "He was your age. It's so scary when he was only your age." Chad, Suzette, and Jessie came home later. They had to pick out a grave site. Seeing those three come through the door was horrible. Soon after that my family had to go to the chicken dinner at WHS. All of the band members were waring green ribbons on their uniforms. I decided to stay the night. The next morning I went back over to Chad and Suzette's. It wasn't any better. The worst part was hearing Jerry tell my Great-Aunt Dianne that he wished it could have been him instead. We found out that Aaron's heart must have skipped a beat or gotten out of rhythm. He had an episode seven months ago were his dad had to give him CPR to bring him back. As Aunt Karen said, it was lucky he had seven months without brain damage. This time he wasn't as lucky. The doctors said he had actually died Saturday night but Chris was on a hunting trip with his dad, brother, and our grandpa. Chris didn't find him until Sunday evening around 6:00pm.
There was a prayer service on Wednesday but I had to work. My dad spoke at it. He talked about someone from the bible, who's name I can't remember, who walked with God and one day was no more. The story goes that that one day they went out walking and God said my place is closer would like to go there? Dad said what if God visited Aaron in March and came back for a talk and said you know my place is closer. A lot of people said Dad's speech/sermon was very good. There were 1500 people at the prayer service and 800 at the funeral. The funeral was on Thursday morning. I'm not sure if I would have made it without Kevin. I didn't want to force him to come, but I was so grateful that he did. One part that was kinda funny that shouldn't have been was when my aunt Shannon hugged me and then yelled at me because she was crying so hard and didn't want to meet Kevin that way. I couldn't help but giggle. My mom tried to get me to go see the body but I didn't want to. He was buried in his SuFuDu uniform. So many people kept saying he was never really a suit kind of guy. He always had on his baggy khaki pants with the giant pockets. The service was very nice. The singer was ok. A lot of people liked her but I thought she took the music way to slow and changed some of the melodies in a way that I didn't care for. After everything was done and the family walked out, SuFuDu was outside the church. They played part of their show. Every one of them was crying. Aaron's drum was set up in the middle with a flag in the middle. I cried even harder when I saw that. The SDSU drum line, the Pride, played at the grave site.They were all crying as well. I don't think I'll be able to listen to a snare drum in the same way again. Chris spoke at both the service and the site. His biggest regret is that he wasn't there when it all happened. He said, "I'm sorry you had to die alone." Those words carried so much weight in them. I just wanted to run up and hug him.
One of the things I really need now is for everything to go back to normal. Thanks to all of my friends, this is starting to help but sometimes when I'm all by myself I can't hide from the pain. No matter how you look at things, Aaron's death was tragic. It is going to take some time for this to heal. What I really need is to be with the people who love me. Our little Vermillion family is helping. Hopefully I can get past this soon. Aaron was a great kid. He touched so many lives and will be missed very much. His life was cut way to short.
Rest in Peace Aaron, I miss you very much.
Aaron Hohwieler August 9,1990 to October 25, 2010.
YOU CAN SKIP! This is my family tree. If anyone is actually reading this and doesn't care just skip this part.
There once were three brothers and three sisters. The brothers names were Jerry, Eldon, and Rollie. The sisters names were Karen, Jan, and the third has never been introduced to me so I have no idea who she is or if she is still alive. I also don't know who is the oldest of the first two in both families but the oldest brother married the oldest sister and the second brother married the second sister. Rollie married a girl named Dianne. They had two daughters named Abby and Tiffany. Abby got married to some guy I can't remember and had their daughter Libby, Abby and what's his name just got divorced. Tiffany also got married but I don't remember what her husbands name is either or the name of her son who is about 3 years old. Jerry and Karen had two children, Chad and Tanya. Chad married Suzette and they had two children, Aaron and Jessie. Tanya married Tim and they have two children, Bailie and Logan. Eldon and Jan got married and had four children. First was Tammy who married John and they have four children, Phil, Maggie, Jack, and Paul. Second was Terri who married Randy and had three children, Ashley(me), Ben, and Taryn. Third was George who married Nancy and they have three children, Andy, Brad, and Jordon. Last was Lyndon who married Shannon and they have four children, Chris, Ryan, Laura, and Luke. The oldest of the grandchildren in my section of the family is Andy and he is 22 while Luke is the youngest at 8. I am the oldest girl of all the cousins and second cousins and for this honor I got a special plate that my great-grandmother left me in her will. Note my enthusiasm. woo-hoo.
BACK ON TRACK. (You can start reading again.)
Aaron, Chris, and I were born within three months of each other. Chris and I went to the same elementary school until his family moved away. Aaron and I went to the same middle school and high school. Since our last names are so similar, we always ended up in line together for the important stuff. In high school, before they changed the system, we had lockers right next to each other. Once my brother and sister came to high school, we would see him and his family at all of the band concerts and marching band competitions. Every semester our school had a list of the people who made the honor roll. If you made it you got to miss class for about an hour for a little ceremony. There was always a speaker who took way too long and was not very interesting. My dad always came to see me or my siblings since each grade had a different day. Sometimes I would get to see Aaron at these events as well as his mom or dad. At graduation, we sat right next to each other and complained about how our mothers were driving us insane with all the open house crap. We were both excited to get out of the house. Ben and Aaron were really close because they were both in SuFuDu. I loved getting to see them perform. Aaron was so good on the snare.
Aaron and Chris were roommates last year and this year at SDSU. They were really close and always got into so much trouble. Last year Chris "fell asleep", more than likely passed out drunk, and Aaron shaved his head. According to my mom and Aunt Tammy, they still hadn't gotten in as much trouble as George, Lyndon, and Chad when they were in school.
I found out about Aaron's death at work. My mom called me but I didn't answer cause I thought she was just calling to check up on me. But then my dad called me right after that so I thought it might be something serious. I answered and my dad was crying. The first thought that popped into my head was I hope its not Grandma. This was worse. When he said Aaron my mind went blank. I thought he was joking. Aaron was my age there was no way he could be dead. I stayed at the bump for two more hours. The whole time I was still in shock. My mind kept saying there's no way this could be true. After my shift got over I called my mom. Once I heard her voice the tears came very quickly. I couldn't even talk I just cried into the phone. Since Kevin didn't get off work for another hour I went over to Kayla and Brianna's place. They were really nice about everything. Kayla had been in band with Aaron and was going through almost the same thing. She got me to calm down. After Kevin took me home, I couldn't stop the tears. He didn't know this but I was up crying for most of the night. I tried not to wake him up. He has been so good to me through this whole thing. I know Chris, Laura, Kayla, and Brianna all told me not to go to class the next day but it was really Kevin who convinced me to go back to Sioux Falls. I didn't want to miss Chamber though. We were getting ready for our concerts. Plus I really didn't want to give some of the people in the group more reason to dislike me. I cried through Abide With Me.
Going home was a good idea. It was nice to be with my family even though we all just sat around crying. My Great-Aunt Karen was the first one to hug me when we got over to the house. She said to me, "He was your age. It's so scary when he was only your age." Chad, Suzette, and Jessie came home later. They had to pick out a grave site. Seeing those three come through the door was horrible. Soon after that my family had to go to the chicken dinner at WHS. All of the band members were waring green ribbons on their uniforms. I decided to stay the night. The next morning I went back over to Chad and Suzette's. It wasn't any better. The worst part was hearing Jerry tell my Great-Aunt Dianne that he wished it could have been him instead. We found out that Aaron's heart must have skipped a beat or gotten out of rhythm. He had an episode seven months ago were his dad had to give him CPR to bring him back. As Aunt Karen said, it was lucky he had seven months without brain damage. This time he wasn't as lucky. The doctors said he had actually died Saturday night but Chris was on a hunting trip with his dad, brother, and our grandpa. Chris didn't find him until Sunday evening around 6:00pm.
There was a prayer service on Wednesday but I had to work. My dad spoke at it. He talked about someone from the bible, who's name I can't remember, who walked with God and one day was no more. The story goes that that one day they went out walking and God said my place is closer would like to go there? Dad said what if God visited Aaron in March and came back for a talk and said you know my place is closer. A lot of people said Dad's speech/sermon was very good. There were 1500 people at the prayer service and 800 at the funeral. The funeral was on Thursday morning. I'm not sure if I would have made it without Kevin. I didn't want to force him to come, but I was so grateful that he did. One part that was kinda funny that shouldn't have been was when my aunt Shannon hugged me and then yelled at me because she was crying so hard and didn't want to meet Kevin that way. I couldn't help but giggle. My mom tried to get me to go see the body but I didn't want to. He was buried in his SuFuDu uniform. So many people kept saying he was never really a suit kind of guy. He always had on his baggy khaki pants with the giant pockets. The service was very nice. The singer was ok. A lot of people liked her but I thought she took the music way to slow and changed some of the melodies in a way that I didn't care for. After everything was done and the family walked out, SuFuDu was outside the church. They played part of their show. Every one of them was crying. Aaron's drum was set up in the middle with a flag in the middle. I cried even harder when I saw that. The SDSU drum line, the Pride, played at the grave site.They were all crying as well. I don't think I'll be able to listen to a snare drum in the same way again. Chris spoke at both the service and the site. His biggest regret is that he wasn't there when it all happened. He said, "I'm sorry you had to die alone." Those words carried so much weight in them. I just wanted to run up and hug him.
One of the things I really need now is for everything to go back to normal. Thanks to all of my friends, this is starting to help but sometimes when I'm all by myself I can't hide from the pain. No matter how you look at things, Aaron's death was tragic. It is going to take some time for this to heal. What I really need is to be with the people who love me. Our little Vermillion family is helping. Hopefully I can get past this soon. Aaron was a great kid. He touched so many lives and will be missed very much. His life was cut way to short.
Rest in Peace Aaron, I miss you very much.
Aaron Hohwieler August 9,1990 to October 25, 2010.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)