unhappy employee

I have been working at Lewis Drug in Sioux Falls for almost three years. Some people don't really understand why this is a big deal, but to me, I feel like this should be celebrated. Some people don't even make it six months at Lewis. Example: I met the two new people at Thanksgiving time and by the time I came back for Christmas they were gone. Since I've been working there all of my mangagers have been replaced. So in most cases I not only know more than the managers I have to teach them how to do things.

Today I found out that cooperate is cutting part-timer's hours. I was "given" three days of work of the next week. Thankfully one of my co-workers realizes that Lewis goes on these time limit kicks and she gave me another day, but I think I deserve better than this. It is not fair to me since I'm only back for one ,more week. Plus, I have a running bet with one of my other coworkers on how many times I will be called in this week. The count is already up to one but I WILL be in White that day so I had to refuse. It always makes me made when they decide to cut the part-timers. During the summer, I work just as much, if not more, as the full time people. I have also taken on shifts when they need help which result in 10 to 14 hour days for me. I don't even get holiday pay.

To many, this is blog is just a bunch of whining, and really it is, but I feel so attached to this company that it feels like a slap in the face to me. Lewis gave me a job when I really needed it. My job at CJ Callaways was not in a very healthy environment. I did many illegal things there. Such as using a knife and working past seven before I was sixteen, using the mixing equipment before I was eighteen, and there was an problem with the staff. One day, after the police first visited us, we no longer had any dishwashers. (They were all illegal immigrants.) And there was the incident when I was sexually assaulted by one of the other employees, but that really wasn't that big of a deal. I never told anyone about that part, not even my parents. (The guy was like a foot shorter than me too and it didn't happen again.) After I wasn't scheduled for over a month I decided it was time to quit. Of course my parents wouldn't let me quit without another job so my dad pulled some strings with a guy from our church and he got me an interview with the head manager at Lewis. After landing the job, even though it paid less, the first thing I did was quit CJ"s.

I worked hard for Lewis right from the beginning. I slowly learning all of the departments. I was the youngest person to ever be trained in Customer Service. And now they let me come back and work when I can. So I should be grateful that they even gave me any hours over Christmas but I can't help feeling that I've worked very hard to get where I am.

So now I kinda don't want to go back. With all the crap that they have put me through in the past year I really don't want to be there anymore. Every time I walk into that place I feel this wait on my shoulders. It's almost like an obligation to still be at Lewis. It could also be that I've changed a lot in the last three years. But of course I can't quit because I have way to much experience there and they do give me great hours over the summer. That and I should be getting a raise in the next week.

Don't get me wrong, there are some good things about working at Lewis. I've learned a lot and I even get a discount. I enjoy working with (most of) my coworkers and the customers aren't too bad (when they get what they want). I'm pretty good at my job.

In other news that kinda relates to Lewis. I had to work today so now Kevin is stuck in Vermillion and I'm stuck in Sioux Falls. We were going to drive to White tonight but now that the interstate is closed there is no chance of getting there until tomorrow. I can't help but feel guilty since the only reason Kev isn't in White right now is because I worked so late. I feel terrible. Kevin told me not to worry but I still can't help but feel bad. I feel a little better after calling him. I just can't wait to see Kevin's family. I know it's weird for the girlfriend to want to see the boyfriends family but they are so much fun to be around. Plus they are way different from my family. As Kevin pointed out after our trip to the Hills, my family likes to argue...a lot. We don't really spend time together, we just spend time in the same house. We just happen to be around each other. Now don't get me wrong, I love my family, but things are just different in White.

I think this is a long enough blog
later
Ash

grrrrrr....

Today was a day that just pissed me off. I have never wanted to physically hurt someone outside of my family before but I seriously considered slapping a woman upside the head.

It all started Friday night when I was on facebook. I got a chat message from one of my bosses informing that I was scheduled for 10:00 am on Sunday. I had already been to Lewis that week and one of my other bosses had told me that I wasn't on the schedule. I was mad cause I wanted to spend more time with Kevin before I had to start working again. But Sunday morning I got up at 7:25 to drive back to Sioux Falls. Leaving Kevin and friends behind. When I got home, I went looking for my Lewis Uniform. I look for almost a half hour before I finally called my dad. He told me that if I couldn't find it just take Taryn or Ben's. Since Taryn's room looked like something had exploded in there I took Ben's shirt. I was thinking on the way to work what if my boss was wrong and I don't have to work today? Then I could go home and sleep. When I got to work I was greeted with the news that one of my coworkers was sick and they couldn't find anyone to work for her. That's when I got the look. Every time one of my superiors needs something from me they all get the same hopeful look on their face and then turn to me and say we could really use the help... And like the idiot I am I said yes. SO I worked from 10am to 10pm today...and Tuesday.

And it gets better. I had probably the worst customer ever today. This person called ahead saying that she didn't have her receipt and wanted to return something. My manager for the night said yes but he would have to return it to a gift card. She came in after Customer Service had closed for the day so I had to do the return. It was one of those Vick's humidifiers. I needed the manager keys to do this so I called him up to checkstands. Once he got up there and I started the paperwork, Dav opened the box to discover that it had been used! There was hair all over it. He even asked her if she had used it. This woman said yes and it gave her walking pneumonia so that's why she was returning it. I finished the paper work and Dav told me to make it as damaged. Then I gave her the gift card which had almost $25.00 on it. She asked me where the pop was and I told her about two rows down on the left. She came back with a 12pack of Mountain dew which I scanned and was reaching for the gift card that I had just giving her when she said, "oh yeah I need three packs of Marlboro 72 menthol and one pack of Marlboro reds." I almost flipped shit!!!!!! This woman just told me that one of our products had given her pneumonia and then was buying cigarettes!! I was SO PISSED!!!!!!!! I thought about refusing but then I decided to be professional and try to get her out of there as soon as possible. I wanted to not only slap her but punch her in the face. After I looked at her paper work again I saw her name, Maria Berry. Then I looked at the reminders around my register to discover a note saying not to return anything to Maria Berry, especially OTC. Now I'm not only pissed I'm furious!!! and a little disappointed in myself for not catching it.

So after that I had three hours to stand at my register and think about how stupid I am.
Now I'm tired and pissed and I don't want to be here. I would like to escape to Vermillion.
.
..
...
..
.
Sorry I'm being annoying.
I must be crabby
And you all probably didn't want to read all of this......

So to sum things up, if you ever meet a Maria Berry from Sioux Falls and she is an older woman who kinda smells, please punch her for me.

well, back to work tomorrow. At least I have Wednesday off.
hopefully by then I wont be so crabby
sorry for putting my readers through this.

On another annoying note, I found my shirt...my sister stole it. I'm not happy with her. She has dropped from favorite sister to least favorite sister, and I only have one sister. I think she bought me something as a piece offering. I even told my dad this morning I bet she stole it. I think she should be grounded and I know this seems like a harsh punishment but she has been doing this since we were little. She will steal my stuff and then when I need it I can't use it. Examples: my red shorts for soccer, my choir shirt, my pants, my underwear, my SOCKS!!!! and I know this my look selfish but it gets really old after a while. My mom is starting get a idea of what I've gone through since Taryn started stealing her stuff after I moved out. I hope she realizes that next year she will be all on her own and her roommate will not take her shit. I really hope she starts understanding soon, especially if she decides to come to USD next year and I'm still not there to bail her out....

Ok enough of my bitching for one night
later
Ash

mushy

so the end of the semester is quickly approaching. but that is not what i want to talk about.

Today is Kevin and my 6 month anniversary. It truly is a mile stone for us. I have never had a relationship that has lasted this long. Normally I would be so bored by this point, or not in love with the person anymore. But I still want to see Kevin. I am so exited to come home to just be with him. He is so funny and smart. He makes me smile when we are together.
I was thinking back to our first date this summer. A lot as changed since then! We started dating when I am the most relaxed. Yes I work a lot but it's not the same as during the school year. When I'm at school, I am running around trying to get so much stuff done and getting ready for juries that I barely have time to think. I say, if he made it through a semester with me, and still likes me, than he must be a keeper. We have made it through the transitional period, but now I'm a little worried since I wont get to see him that often over break.

I never thought I would be so attached to someone that I don't want to go a day without them. I am a very independent person. I could go days without seeing anyone and be totally fine. In fact, during the summer that's what I tend to do. If it hadn't been for Kevin, I probably would not have come down to Vermillion at all this past summer and every time I hung out with other friends it was because they texted me. I was like this a lot in high school. My mom thinks I'm ashamed of her and that's why I never invite people over. Honestly, I'm just fine on my own. But now that I have Kevin, I don't have to be. I love spending time with him.

Kevin I LLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't wait for you to meet the rest of my family;)
time for rehearsal...
later

out of character

so Kevin and I have been dating for just over five months and last night we had our "first" fight. We have had disagreements before, like we can't decide were to eat or who will pay, but never an "I'm mad at you" fight. The worst part is that I totally started it.

We had just gotten back from the Mozart concert in Sioux City and Kevin had to go to work. I decided to go out to Pro's with some friends. We then decided to go back to the house and hang out. I thought it would be funny to text Kevin at work pretending to be smashed. Then he texted Chris asking if I was really drunk. Chris trying to make a joke texted him back saying "yes she's so drunk she's in bed with Tim," which was totally false. I love Kevin. I would NEVER do that to him. I was trying to get Kevin's attention because I like to have conversations with him while he is at work but Kev really doesn't text well. (no offence honey(;) I'll start texting him and then he'll stop. Anyway, unfortunately for Chris, Kevin did not take this text very well. He kinda got mad and ended up calling me wanting to know what was going on. I'm not going to lie, I was pissed. I was mad because he wasn't trusting my judgment.

But I could also see his side. He was probably upset for not being able to spend the night with us and I wasn't helping. I miss him when he's at work. Thankfully we both understood that this whole thing was stupid and we made up when he got home. Though I was kinda glad he had seven hours to think about how stupid he was being. (it's selfish of me but really don't care)

We are good now and it makes me happy.

but Chris is still an ass (; jk.

Other than that things are getting better. I'm still stressed out but Kevin, friends and ultimate Frisbee are helping. Juries are coming and I really want them to stay away. My mom keeps calling me. Sometimes she calls and I'm watching a movie or out with my friends so I plan on calling her back after that but then she will call me again that night and again in the morning. I keep telling her that I'll call her when I get the time which is when I'm not out with my friends and not asleep. She can be very impatient.

Thanksgiving is coming up. I'm super excited because Kevin will be coming with me to my grandma's and I'll get to see all of my work friends at Lewis. Yay!
peace out
Ash

Wishing you were somehow here again

I don't know who said it first but I think they were right, "God must have needed a drummer." Aaron Hohwieler was my second cousin, and just because I know families can be confusing I will explain.

YOU CAN SKIP! This is my family tree. If anyone is actually reading this and doesn't care just skip this part.

There once were three brothers and three sisters. The brothers names were Jerry, Eldon, and Rollie. The sisters names were Karen, Jan, and the third has never been introduced to me so I have no idea who she is or if she is still alive. I also don't know who is the oldest of the first two in both families but the oldest brother married the oldest sister and the second brother married the second sister. Rollie married a girl named Dianne. They had two daughters named Abby and Tiffany. Abby got married to some guy I can't remember and had their daughter Libby, Abby and what's his name just got divorced. Tiffany also got married but I don't remember what her husbands name is either or the name of her son who is about 3 years old. Jerry and Karen had two children, Chad and Tanya. Chad married Suzette and they had two children, Aaron and Jessie. Tanya married Tim and they have two children, Bailie and Logan. Eldon and Jan got married and had four children. First was Tammy who married John and they have four children, Phil, Maggie, Jack, and Paul. Second was Terri who married Randy and had three children, Ashley(me), Ben, and Taryn. Third was George who married Nancy and they have three children, Andy, Brad, and Jordon. Last was Lyndon who married Shannon and they have four children, Chris, Ryan, Laura, and Luke. The oldest of the grandchildren in my section of the family is Andy and he is 22 while Luke is the youngest at 8. I am the oldest girl of all the cousins and second cousins and for this honor I got a special plate that my great-grandmother left me in her will. Note my enthusiasm. woo-hoo.

BACK ON TRACK. (You can start reading again.)

Aaron, Chris, and I were born within three months of each other. Chris and I went to the same elementary school until his family moved away. Aaron and I went to the same middle school and high school. Since our last names are so similar, we always ended up in line together for the important stuff. In high school, before they changed the system, we had lockers right next to each other. Once my brother and sister came to high school, we would see him and his family at all of the band concerts and marching band competitions. Every semester our school had a list of the people who made the honor roll. If you made it you got to miss class for about an hour for a little ceremony. There was always a speaker who took way too long and was not very interesting. My dad always came to see me or my siblings since each grade had a different day. Sometimes I would get to see Aaron at these events as well as his mom or dad. At graduation, we sat right next to each other and complained about how our mothers were driving us insane with all the open house crap. We were both excited to get out of the house. Ben and Aaron were really close because they were both in SuFuDu. I loved getting to see them perform. Aaron was so good on the snare.

Aaron and Chris were roommates last year and this year at SDSU. They were really close and always got into so much trouble. Last year Chris "fell asleep", more than likely passed out drunk, and Aaron shaved his head. According to my mom and Aunt Tammy, they still hadn't gotten in as much trouble as George, Lyndon, and Chad when they were in school.

I found out about Aaron's death at work. My mom called me but I didn't answer cause I thought she was just calling to check up on me. But then my dad called me right after that so I thought it might be something serious. I answered and my dad was crying. The first thought that popped into my head was I hope its not Grandma. This was worse. When he said Aaron my mind went blank. I thought he was joking. Aaron was my age there was no way he could be dead. I stayed at the bump for two more hours. The whole time I was still in shock. My mind kept saying there's no way this could be true. After my shift got over I called my mom. Once I heard her voice the tears came very quickly. I couldn't even talk I just cried into the phone. Since Kevin didn't get off work for another hour I went over to Kayla and Brianna's place. They were really nice about everything. Kayla had been in band with Aaron and was going through almost the same thing. She got me to calm down. After Kevin took me home, I couldn't stop the tears. He didn't know this but I was up crying for most of the night. I tried not to wake him up. He has been so good to me through this whole thing. I know Chris, Laura, Kayla, and Brianna all told me not to go to class the next day but it was really Kevin who convinced me to go back to Sioux Falls. I didn't want to miss Chamber though. We were getting ready for our concerts. Plus I really didn't want to give some of the people in the group more reason to dislike me. I cried through Abide With Me.

Going home was a good idea. It was nice to be with my family even though we all just sat around crying. My Great-Aunt Karen was the first one to hug me when we got over to the house. She said to me, "He was your age. It's so scary when he was only your age." Chad, Suzette, and Jessie came home later. They had to pick out a grave site. Seeing those three come through the door was horrible. Soon after that my family had to go to the chicken dinner at WHS. All of the band members were waring green ribbons on their uniforms. I decided to stay the night. The next morning I went back over to Chad and Suzette's. It wasn't any better. The worst part was hearing Jerry tell my Great-Aunt Dianne that he wished it could have been him instead. We found out that Aaron's heart must have skipped a beat or gotten out of rhythm. He had an episode seven months ago were his dad had to give him CPR to bring him back. As Aunt Karen said, it was lucky he had seven months without brain damage. This time he wasn't as lucky. The doctors said he had actually died Saturday night but Chris was on a hunting trip with his dad, brother, and our grandpa. Chris didn't find him until Sunday evening around 6:00pm.

There was a prayer service on Wednesday but I had to work. My dad spoke at it. He talked about someone from the bible, who's name I can't remember, who walked with God and one day was no more. The story goes that that one day they went out walking and God said my place is closer would like to go there? Dad said what if God visited Aaron in March and came back for a talk and said you know my place is closer. A lot of people said Dad's speech/sermon was very good. There were 1500 people at the prayer service and 800 at the funeral. The funeral was on Thursday morning. I'm not sure if I would have made it without Kevin. I didn't want to force him to come, but I was so grateful that he did. One part that was kinda funny that shouldn't have been was when my aunt Shannon hugged me and then yelled at me because she was crying so hard and didn't want to meet Kevin that way. I couldn't help but giggle. My mom tried to get me to go see the body but I didn't want to. He was buried in his SuFuDu uniform. So many people kept saying he was never really a suit kind of guy. He always had on his baggy khaki pants with the giant pockets. The service was very nice. The singer was ok. A lot of people liked her but I thought she took the music way to slow and changed some of the melodies in a way that I didn't care for. After everything was done and the family walked out, SuFuDu was outside the church. They played part of their show. Every one of them was crying. Aaron's drum was set up in the middle with a flag in the middle. I cried even harder when I saw that. The SDSU drum line, the Pride, played at the grave site.They were all crying as well. I don't think I'll be able to listen to a snare drum in the same way again. Chris spoke at both the service and the site. His biggest regret is that he wasn't there when it all happened. He said, "I'm sorry you had to die alone." Those words carried so much weight in them. I just wanted to run up and hug him.

One of the things I really need now is for everything to go back to normal. Thanks to all of my friends, this is starting to help but sometimes when I'm all by myself I can't hide from the pain. No matter how you look at things, Aaron's death was tragic. It is going to take some time for this to heal. What I really need is to be with the people who love me. Our little Vermillion family is helping. Hopefully I can get past this soon. Aaron was a great kid. He touched so many lives and will be missed very much. His life was cut way to short.

Rest in Peace Aaron, I miss you very much.

Aaron Hohwieler August 9,1990 to October 25, 2010.

This blog is of no importance to anyone who follows it but I can't sleep so I'm going to write.

I was thinking tonight about how thankful I am to have Kevin. (This is why some of you can stop reading.) I have had such bad luck with men. My first kiss didn't happen until I was almost 16 and the next week the guy ignored me at school and then dated one of my best friends. He was later charged with sexual assault by one of my other friends. My first real boyfriend was a drunk college drop out who worked at Lewis full time and cheated on me. Another guy, who I wasn't dating, got me to kiss him and then got back together with his ex-girlfriend less than four days later. I'm the kind of person who puts my whole heart into everything so for these guys, and others who have not been mentioned, to screw me over I was hurt. At the end of last year I was ready to give up on men altogether because none of them seemed to be able to care about me. And then Kevin came along. He was nice and sweet. He cared and is still caring. We can be having the most random conversations and still be having fun. I love him so much and I wish I could show him how much he truly means to me. I can't imagine life without him:)

Well I guess that's it since I'm tired again.
Later
Ash

It's been awhile...

It has been a very long time since I've blogged. This summer I really used it to tell my friends whats on my mind. Now that I'm living in Vermillion, I can just tell them. This is what is happening so far.

I totally predicted the fact that my group of friends would need some transitional time for me and Kevin but I didn't think it would be that bad. The thing that pissed me off was that I felt as though everything I did was being looked at again. I spent so many years having to dress perfectly and say the right thing and be the perfect student and the best kid in sunday school and I hated every second of it. If I did anything wrong it was brought up in my dad's staff meeting for the week. I felt like Kevin and I couldn't do anything right. Thankfully I think we have gotten through the hard parts and I understand their side of the situation. (For those of you involved I'm sorry for the mess I caused.)

School is INSANE!!!!! I'm taking 18 credits plus three class for no credit. Plus lessons have studio classes added on so really when you add everything together I'm taking about 25 credits this semester. The one class I can't stand in Para. For this class I have to decide whether or not I really want to become a teacher by doing fluff work and 30 hours of observation time that we have to do on our own and be in class every friday at noon. (aka no lunch for me on mondays wednesdays and fridays because of foundations of american education, we'll get to my bitching about that class in a minute.) My teacher placed me in SIOUX FALLS. Freaking one hour away when I don't have time to get everything done for the stuff I'm doing in Vermillion. So the plan is that I'm going to take an incomplete in the class and do all of the observations over Christmas break. Merry Christmas to me. Foundations of American Education in my second worst class. To sum up what we have learned is being a teacher sucks because you have to deal with kids and you could get sued. TET is the only ed class that I kinda like. I say kinda because we are going through how to use a computer in teaching. So I go on facebook for an hour and then go see Kevin for breakfast.

I thought Theory was going to be my favorite class again but I was VERY wrong. We had our first test this past monday and I got the worst grade I have every gotten in my entire life. Less than 50% on something I consider myself good at. Wyatt and I would compete for the best grade in the class last year. I don't know what happened. I thought I was doing really well on the test but apparently I had everything wrong. Though I did get the hardest chord that we had to spell out right. Which makes absolutely no sense to me. After getting my test back on Wednesday I spent twenty minutes crying in Dr. Yarbrough's office and begging him for a second chance. He told me that I had to come in for an hour private tutoring class. Then he told the entire class today that we would have a make-up test next week. I almost started crying again I was so happy! Things are starting to look up for that class

Diction is by for the hardest class I have this semester. You have to find the correct pronunciation of words. We use IPA which is really cool but also very subjective because everyone pronounces words differently. I've studied more for this class than anything else in my life.

The main problem for me this year is my stress level. Thank God I have Kevin. He keeps everything in prospective for me. I love him so much!!! I don't know how I ever could have possibly live without him. Whenever I'm with him I feel relaxed. Like there isn't anything else I need to worry about or plan or write, I can just be his girlfriend. I have never felt this way about anyone. I just love him:)

and now I'm gushing sorry
That's about it for right now..

Later

My little weakness

For some odd reason I have become addicted to some stupid TV shows this summer. Here are the shows that I can't wait to see every week
Teen Mom - which is actually a really good show
Jersey Shore
Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami
Keeping up with the Kardashians
The Hard Times of RJ Berger
America's Next Top Model
Top Chef
My Life on the D-List

Ok Top Chef is a really good show but the one I'm most surprised about is the Jersey Shore. This show is absolutely ridiculous but for some odd reason I find myself rushing home to watch the rerun after work on Thursdays. I think I have a problem. But this could also be the result of my boredom without my usual Glee and Supernatural. Also 10 Things I Hate About You has disappeared for the summer and the stupid Secret Life of the American Teenager has taken it's place. I will sometimes click past that show hoping for it to turn into something else. Its horrible! The story line has turned into more of a soap opera than anything else.

I think I have a problem...
I need to be around people again otherwise I'm going to go crazy!!!
Help!
Ash

randomness

I haven't blogged for a while so i think I'll just write down what I've been thinking about.
btw i accidentally deleted my last post...but that's ok because it was just me ranting about a girl at work.
who pissed me off again on Monday... she called me while I had a line of at least five people (she wasn't working that day) to tell me that her father was dropping off a check and I was supposed to give it to whoever came in asking for it. I was very close to ripping it up. I told my boss who also thought it was very weird that she would have them come to where she works. I also talked to my parents about this and they agreed with me that her behavior is very unprofessional.
Sorry I didn't mean to start venting again.

Ok happier subjects. I got to see Kevin, Kayla, and Chris yesterday which made me very happy. Especially my alone time with Kevin;) We all went and saw The Other Guys. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard during a movie! I actually want to see it again. Which is saying something because the last movie I saw, Dinner For Schmucks, was not very good. I think the movie industry is running out of ideas. I think there will be some major issues once the Harry Potter and Twilight saga movies are over. There aren't many story lines left! I think they should defiantly contact Brianna Keener for some story ideas. Either that or make one of her books into a movie:)

I can't wait for school to start! I loved this summer but I'm ready to get back to school. Plus I'm really excited to start my new job. I'm really weird like that. I like working, even though I complain about it a lot. It gives me something to do. Don't get me wrong I love hanging out with friends but when I'm working I'm making money and I'm helping people. That's one of the thing I love about Lewis. I feel like I'm helping people. It gives me a little extra something when I can get people through my line with exactly what they want/need as fast as I can. I actually had one guy about a week ago look at me after I gave him his change who said wow that was quick. Another part I love is counting drawers. Its so much fun when you get everything right. I have to count two drawers in c.s. yes I'm a dork I like to count money.

Ten more days until I get to see Kevin whenever I want:) Moving is going to be sweet because I'm pretty sure my whole family will be helping. I asked my brother and sister if they wanted to see my new place and both of them said yes. This means they will get to meet Laura and possibly Chris and Bri (I don't expect you guys to be there but if you happen to be in the neighborhood:)...). They have already meet Kayla so she doesn't really count lol. I'm also really excited to meet my new roommates, Liz and Jess. They seem like really nice people.

One things for sure, this year is going to be very interesting.
signing off
Ash

The NewDay Creed

It's not about me.
I give myself freely and totally to God.
That I may be used for the building of God's kingdom,
For the care of God's world.
To love God's Children,
All of God's Children.
-Even those who are not like me
-Even those who do not like me
That God's kingdom might become real
And that I might be blessed
And be made complete.


My dad wrote this creed. It has been the basic belief statement for my church NewDay. We have been up and running for just over five years now. I try to live my life by this creed... but sometimes I epically fail lol. This creed reminds me that even on the crappiest days I have had worse, and just because I am having a bad day, doesn't mean I have to make someone else's worse.

FUMC (First United Methodist Church) in Sioux falls used to be my second home. The only place I hadn't been in that church was the roof. I grew up going to that church ever Wednesday and Sunday for 12 years. Can you imagine walking into a church and not knowing who you can trust? If I said anything to the wrong person they could use that against my dad. That's why I like the part about people who don't like you in the creed.
As I mentioned before we started NewDay about five years ago. Even after all this time, FUMC still blames my dad for all of their problems. They didn't meet their budget for this year and apparently it's our fault. Honestly they have the guy who gave all that money to Sioux Valley and made them change their name to Sandford going to their church. They should just have him bail them out. Anyway, during the first year of NewDay they would send people to see how many people where coming to our church. I would watch these people, people who had been in my life since I was three, drive into the parking lot of the park we where having church at and then drive out supposedly to FUMC. I went back to a youth meeting one time. Our youth group activity was over and some of my friends wanted to go checkout what FUMC was doing. So we went to their youth group. The leader had us go around the room and talk about the new church and why we had left. I was insulted. It was kinda obvious that she just wanted information that she could present at the next staff meeting. Sadly, Gwen was treated the same way as my dad. She later apologized to my family and is now living in Texas.

My goal in life is to follow this creed. Which means putting others first and not freaking out about unimportant things. Getting my priorities straight has taken a little longer than I thought but I think I'm back on track :)

whats on my mind

I love Kevin
I miss Kevin
I can't wait to see him tomorrow
It sucks that he has to work tomorrow but we will get through that
....
I still love Kevin
.
..
...
thats it
Ash out

How I Got Here

Kevin gave me some advice yesterday about blogging since I have a tendency to start a journal and then forget about it. He said write what you are thinking about. so here goes.

I have been thinking about how lucky I am right now. My life never used to be like this. I have some really great friends and of course a great boyfriend. I think the best thing that could have ever happened to me was getting to hear the Chamber Singers sing at my school my junior year of high school. After that I went to the Sioux Falls concert for the next two years. If I hadn't gotten to hear them sing I wouldn't have thought about becoming a music major or going to USD. Going to USD was the best decision I have ever made. I used to have a lot of trouble making friends. When I was in middle school, my dad's job was unstable. We weren't sure if we would be staying in Sioux Falls. It was kinda a month to month thing. I kept expecting to come home to find my parents packing. So after a while I stopped trying to make friends. My mind kept telling me why get attached when I'll just have to say good-bye tomorrow. Even though my dad retired from the Methodist church when I was 14, I still had that thought in my head as I started high school. It was really hard for me. I NEVER had people over to my house. Honestly Kayla has only been over to my house like three times and one of those times was over April Fools Day when she wanted to see Taryn's face when I told her I wasn't engaged. (long story) It wasn't until my senior year when I started hanging out with friends. And even then I really didn't hang out all that often because I worked twenty hours or more a week. That's why I think it was a good idea for me to not work my first year of college. I have so many more friends now who I actually want to hang out with, (another long story). And now I'm even going to be a bridesmaid in Laura B's wedding. All of this still doesn't even cover the fact that I have a boyfriend who cares about me almost as much as I care about him:)
I am so happy right now and am loving life. Who knew listening to the Chamber Singers could change my life so drastically. I am so blessed to be apart of this group.

feeling good
Ash

Writer's block

so I've had writers block for the past three days. I want to blog about so many things but I just can't seem to focus on one. So i just stare at my blank screen for about an hour while watching TV after work. Wow I need a life.

Anyway there are a few things that I would like to write about. Such as this past weekend. I went to White with Kevin for his brother's wedding. We had so much fun!!!!! Friday was an interesting day. It started out with my mom telling me how she was disappointed in me for not finishing my room before I had to leave...Thanks mom. Of course she put on a giant smile as soon as Kevin got there. She is the master of mood swings. Kevin made everything better cause he showed up with flowers :) They make me happy every time I look at them:) The ride up there didn't feel like an hour. It's crazy how much fun we have just talking. One of the biggest surprises that happened was from Paul. He handed me the keys to his truck! (He never does that.) After the rehearsal dinner we all got in the pool:) It turned into an all out war with beach balls. I kinda feel like I got initiated into the family lol. And the best part was getting to kiss Kevin in the pool...at least until we were hit in the head by T.J. with one of the beach balls.
The wedding was beautiful!!! But kinda short.. though I really liked the sand thing they did. My dad hates it which kinda makes me laugh. He does a lot of weddings and funerals as like a second job. But back to this weekend, I have to say the flower girl was the cutest, aside from Kevin of course. Probably my favorite part of the wedding was at the reception when Kevin and I got to dance together. I love him so much :)
We stayed at Kevin's mom's place. I woke up both mornings with Flinn, one of her four cats, trying to get me to pet him/her. (I still can't remember which cat is a girl or a boy.) At one point three cats were sitting on my lap lol. I love those cats! I asked Flinn if he would miss his sleeping buddy and Kevin got all mad :) it was funny.
On Sunday Kevin and I went to the lake and went canoeing. It was so much fun until we got lost. The dock was flooded and you couldn't really see the flag that marked the end of the dock. (It was just sticking out of the water.) But I was very impressed with Kevin. He didn't get mad since I was the one who could actually see. (He wasn't wearing his glasses.) We just kept looking for the exit and eventually we asked for directions. We were able to get along and calmly figure a way out of our situation. He has gained browny points ;)
We couldn't decide on a card to get for Paul and Shelly so we ended up getting them two... One was a nice wedding card and the other was a giant singing card that said SMILE!! It was perfect and we won the award for biggest card.
I didn't want to leave!! But that could've also been due to the fact that I was having fun with Kevin:)

I went back to work on Monday woohoo (:() Nothing really interesting happened until today when I found out one of my managers is leaving and another is getting promoted to his spot. I'll miss crazy Jay but I agree with Scott's choice to give Steve this opportunity. The only problem is I'm only scheduled for two days next week...I talked to my head manager, Scott, and he said he might be able to get me some more hours but I have to wait until tomorrow to see. (He was already a half hour over his shift.)

I miss Kevin SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!! Hopefully I'll get to see him soon. And if I don't get more hours next weekend I'm going to go see him!!!!!!!!

Wow and I thought I had writer's block
And I have mentioned Kevin in almost every sentence of this blog:)
Oh well, I'm going to bed
Ash

Congratulations you're a dumb ass

So working at Lewis I have met some pretty stupid people. Some of them are even supposed to be in charge of me, lol. I have some favorites over my two and a half years. There was the woman who tried to convince me that she could see angles and about three different people tried to tell me that the government had some sort of conspiracy going on. There is also James who comes in almost every day and buys a pack of Titans, he is missing some teeth and always seems to have spit dripping from his mouth.

One person who I should have seen as a dumb ass is my ex-boyfriend Travis. I probably should have seen the warning signs like the fact that he is six years older than me, my boss was his roommate, and he smoked. Well he decided to text me tonight and this is exactly what he said, "by chance qhats your last name?" Yes we dated for four months and he can't even remember my last name...and can't spell "what". I really don't want him back in my life so I asked why? After avoiding the question and refusing to answer until he told me why I found out that they replayed this demonstration thing I did in high school on drunk driving. I was thinking he wanted to add me on facebook. Thank God it wasn't that. He tried to get back together with me this past year and I told him I had a boyfriend...named Cody...This just reminds me how amazing Kevin is:) I love you sweetie!!!!! I still kinda feel insulted that he didn't remember my last name! Congrats you are a stupid cheating dumb ass!!!

But tonight I think I have found my favorite dumb ass.
A customer found a lady slumped over in her car, note she had her keys in her hands. The doors were all locked and the windows up. Obviously worried for her safety, the other customer ran inside and found our manager who called 600 (security aka our undercover security guard) who called the police. I was working outside and didn't see any of this because the car wasn't very close to the hut and I had other customers to deal with. Not only did the police show up but the fire department and an ambulance came with them. One of the police officers had to shack the car to wake her up. They were very close to breaking her windows. Any way, after she got out of the car, the police officer found an open container of wine in the front seat. Later on they gave her a sobriety test which she obviously failed (I got to watch it was kinda funny). They cuffed her and formally charged her with a DUI. Later on a guy from Jim and Ron's showed up and towed her car. Did I mention she had to of been in her late 50's early 60's. Congrats you are my favorite dumb ass so far. lol

stuck in the middle

Just as I was beginning to write this post an ant crawled on my screen....just thought you would all like to know. It kinda scared me cause I wasn't expecting it.:)

This summer has been very interesting. So far I have worked almost double what I worked last year, met the man of my dreams, made several visits to Vermillion, fought with my mother, and sang with the band at my church. I'm kinda stuck between wanting summer to be over so I can start school again and spend more time with Kevin, and not wanting it to end so I can sleep in and keep working at Lewis.

I want things to speed up because it kills me every time Kevin and have to separate. I go to work not really caring what other people's problems are because I would much rather be spending time with him. This is all very new for me. My past relationships have all been very secretive. I hid them from my parents and friends at school, with the exception of Kayla, because they really didn't mean anything to me. With Kevin everything is different. I love just being with him. We could be doing the weirdest things and still be having fun. Right now, I just miss him. Which is also a new thing for me cause I've never really missed being around someone. Don't get me wrong I miss my family and friends when I'm not around them but this is just different. I'm not as happy when I'm not with him and I'm a very positive person. I love him so much!!! I think I've said that in every post but it is true!! I've never had this feeling before. We can talk about anything and everything. I'm counting down the days until I get to see him again. (six more days!!!)

I want things to slow down because I get to sing at church. I've wanted to be in the church band since I was 12. I would help them set up and put away every Sunday morning as well as do sound checks for them. I can now lift a speaker onto its stand all by myself. But my mom always told me that I wasn't allowed to sing because I was the pastor's daughter. I think she wanted to save me from people saying I only got to sing because of my dad and the fact that she was in the band. I also wasn't allowed to try out for solos at church because I had to let the other kids have a chance at it. One of the biggest blows to my heart was the winter they chose my sister to sing a verse of silent night over me because they needed a younger sounding voice. I was still happy for her but it hurt a little that they didn't pick me. In resent years I came to the realization that no matter how much I helped them all out they weren't required to give me a spot in the band. I was expecting something in return. So I stopped helping them set up. I know it seems like I became selfish but I was just tired of doing all that work for so little reward. Then a few weeks after I got home for summer, one of the girls in the band decided to take the summer off. My mom offered me the position and I took it. I love doing this, even if I do spend four hours at church every Sunday.

time is a strange thing. I am just happy that my life is going so well right now. I can't wait to see what will happen next.
Favorite quote "Live your life so the preacher wont have to lie at your funeral."
Ash

i had a bad day....

So last Thursday was not a good day for me. It started with my dad shaking me awake and telling me that I had been in bed for too long. Now any normal person of around nineteen years old would understand that ten o'clock in the morning is a good time to catch up on the sleep you didn't get while looking at facebook the night before. I later discovered that it wasn't my dad who had the problem with my sleeping habits but my mother who thinks everything needs to be done by noon. I on the other hand think that things will get done by the time I go to bed. Which could also explain why i don't normally get up until 11:30.

To understand the rest of my day you must know that my mom has had surgery and it has resulted in some complications. So I have been helping her out as much as possible but I am also a very busy person with work and a boyfriend.

My parents had a fight about my sister's actions while I was getting ready for the day. She hasn't had the greatest attitude this year. This is one of the only issues that I agree with my mother about. My dad thinks she is fine and that everything is going to work out but the reality is if she doesn't change her attitude I really don't want her coming to Vermillion in the next years. This summer has shone me that my little sister has become very spoiled and thinks she is entitled to everything. Now don't get me wrong she can be a very sweet person and helps out with everything she can but when she starts acting like our mom I get really sad.

Anyway back on topic. My dad thought that my mom would be a little nicer to me seeing that I've been helping her out and getting things done around the house so he decided I would go with her to the grocery store. Bad idea. We ended up getting in a fight because I got my own checking account this summer. This means she can't look at all the money that I have. I've hated having to deal with this for the past few years. She always asks me where my money is going and why never seem to have enough money on me. Well there wasn't that much money left in the account she can see because I try to save as much as possible. So now she can't check up on me all the time.
Side note I'm 19. This is uncalled for.
Well she asked me where it all was going and I told her how much I had in savings in the other account. She just starts yelling at me and telling me how i wasn't going to be able to count on them to bail me out next year and that I was going to have to start working at Lewis on the weekends or get a job because she couldn't support me for the rest of this year. and they have bills to pay as well and they don't need the added stress of my financial situation.

This isn't the first time my mother has yelled at me about this topic. But for some odd reason it just hurt more this time. I know I shouldn't think I'm owed anything for helping her but god damn it I didn't need that.

It ended with me walking home from the grocery store crying having just threatened to move out.

Two people really helped me out in this situation. Thanks to Kayla I was able to calm down and walk back to my house to face my mother. She wasn't to trilled that I had left. (She said well you can just walk home and I did. this is following orders not abandoning her.) Not much changed and we ended up screaming at each other for another half an hour. After that I talked to Kevin. I felt so bad for making him sit through my cry fest. I never like putting people in weird positions. So I hate pushing my problems on others. I especially felt bad cause Kevin hadn't been feeling very good the day before. But he listened to me and said everything right. I love him so much! He makes me feel safe and loved. I didn't have that before. When we would fight I always lost because I had no one else to turn to for support. No one ever gave me the confidence to say this is wrong.

Eventually my mom and I made up (like we always do). I think we understand each other a little better now. She admitted that I'm not her baby girl anymore. I can do things on my own and succeed at them.

To end my sucky day I was called in to work...for seven hours....on my day off.
These bad days have been happening less in the past years but sometimes, like last thursday, they boil over into especially bad days. The good part though is that you can always wake up the next morning with a fresh start.
Forgiving and forgetting doesn't mean you erase the day before, it means you learn from the mistakes you made and forgive yourself for making them.
I forgive myself for choosing to make a bigger deal out of the situation with my mom. I love her very much and hope we can stop having these confrentations in the future.

On a happier note I get to see Kevin tomorrow!!!!! I can't wait which is probably why I can't sleep...I love him so much! We get to have about two days with each other. I'm so happy!!!

ok going to bed now
Ash

Axis of Awesome - 4 Four Chord Song (with song titles)

the fourth of July

This year was the best fourth of July I have ever had! I got to have church at falls park with the mayor. Then I had to work for six hours at Lewis. It was so slow that I was allowed to sit down in the rocking chairs for about a half hour and I got to kinda watch Avatar. I couldn't hear the movie but I could see the screens. And then the fun began!! Kevin picked me up around six thirty and we went to Brookings together. The drive was fun even though we didn't have air conditioning or a radio. I got to hold his hand and talk with him in person, it was amazing!! We got to the event just as the band started playing. They were a cover band and would eventually do Lady GaGa's poker face....but other than that and a very heavy base they were ok. The next to arrive was Kevin's mom, Sue who is adorable, and their neighbor Mason. Sue even gave me a hug when she first saw me which made all of my butterflies disappear. Finally the last two to arrive where Kevin's step-brother, Curt, and their friend T.J. Both of them were really funny. I really like Kevin's family. You can tell that they all care about each other and are not afraid to have a good time. I think they liked me too. Which makes me very happy cause that's what I was nervous about. The best part of the night was getting to watch the fireworks in Kevin's arms. I love him so much!!!! It was a perfect night...if you don't count the bugs. I have now counted 12 bug bites on my legs and feet. But it was totally worth it to get to see the fireworks. After they were done we were going to go get some pie but Perkin's was closed. So we tailgated in Wal-mart. It was so much fun despite the drama with one of TJ's friends. (Long story that I don't wish to repeat).
Once everything was done, I spent the night at Sue's place. It was so cool cause I got to see the house that Kevin grew up in and some of his old stuff. One this I thought was funny was that Kevin collected rocks as a kid...I did too! I was laughing in my head cause this was just another random thing that we have in common. Kevin was also kind enough to let me sleep on the couch. We totally fell asleep holding hands. It made me happy:)
The next morning I got to meet Kevin's brother Paul and soon to be sister-in-law Shelly. I like both of them. Though you can totally tell that Paul and Kevin are brothers; they look a lot alike. I wish I could have spent more time with them but I had to go to work. I get to go to their wedding in about two weeks so I'll try to spend more time talking then.
I made it back just in time for work. Quite honestly I didn't want to leave Kevin's car. I miss him already and we wont get to see each other until sometime next week. It all depends on when I get my schedule.
Again BEST FOURTH OF JULY EVER!!!!!!!!
all thanks to Kevin my amazing/awesome/cute boyfriend.
I can't wait to see what we do next together
That's enough for one day
ttyl
Ash

My Green Thumb

I work at Lewis Drug in Sioux Falls. This is my third year working in the garden center. It can be a lot of fun and a lot of work. Here are some tips and tricks that I've picked up from working with the plants.

One of my favorite phrases I learned in the class we all had to go through is that plants are like people. They are living breathing beings and need to be treated with the same respect and care as say a pet. They need water, food, space, sunlight, and shelter. Here are some tips for each of these things.

Watering
Water in the morning just as the sun is coming up. This is the time when the plants do the majority of their growing. On a hot day water in the afternoon as well. Count to 5 Mississippi for a normal drink. If the plant is really dry, you might want to submerge it in a bucket of water to force the soil to absorb water. If it rains during the day you don't need to water. (I shouldn't have to say this but you would be surprised by the questions I get asked on this subject.) Make sure you get the water close to the roots of the plant. If you just wet the leaves you aren't really watering...your just getting water everywhere. Try not to over water. The way to tell if your plants need water is to check the soil. It should always be moist. If you are using one of those spray heads, make sure you use a gentle setting like shower. How would you feel if someone shot water at you with enough force to knock you over? Plants like rain not storms or jets.

Food
Yes plants need food. How you can tell when your plant is hungry is when the leaves turn yellow. Most plants come with food in their pots. This is why you want to use the dirt from the container then add more dirt as needed. You can buy small containers of plant food. Yeah that's about it with food...

Space
We all need room to grow. Look at the label before you buy to see how big your plant should get. I say should because if you don't take care of your plant it will not grow (many people don't understand this). As your plant grows bigger on the surface, its roots will also expand. If you plant your flowers too close together, you might end up with a mixture of flowers. Make sure you plan for the future.

Sunlight
Plants are labeled in three ways: Full Sun, Partial Sun, and No Sun. Know where you are putting your plants. If your house faces East a No Sun plant will die. You need to know how much sunlight is present in the placement of plants. Most plants are full to partial sun. Petunias and Pansies are good examples of full sun annuals. Impatiens are a little to no sun plant. They will die if placed in the sun all day. If you are unsure as to how much sun a plant will need just look at the label. Full sun has a yellow label, partial sun has a yellow and orange label or just an orange label, and no/little sun has a purple or pink label. If your plant has no label ask an employee for help.

Shelter
We live in South Dakota...there is always a need for shelter. Storms are a big issue. If we are in a tornado watch or a flash flood warning, bring your plants inside. Wind is another big issue. Just make sure everything stays upright after a windy day and you will be fine.

Some other random facts
Annual=only lasts one season
Perennial=supposed to come back every year

Deadhead=pick off all dead leaves and flowers from the plants
The employees have to deadhead all the plants in the garden center every day. Not only does it keep the plants looking nice but it also prevents mold from spreading.

Mold
Caused by dead flowers or leaves that rot in the soil. This year was the worst for the mold because of how cold it was in May. We couldn't keep up with the dead leaves in the green house so on a daily basis I would have to take gloves with me to the tents and pull all the mold off the plants...gross! Once mold starts it is very hard to get rid of. I spreads to all the plants around it. The only way to get rid of it is to pull it out off the soil and let everything dry out.

There is a chemical that you can buy that turns pink hydrangeas blue.

The difference between top soil and potting soil is that top soil is meant to go on the ground and potting soil is meant to go in pots.

The last official frost date in South Dakota is June 4Th.

We live in zone 4. This means that some plant that are considered a perennial in other places are actually annuals here.

We have a joke at my Lewis that plants are suicidal. They like to fall off the displays....yeah that's probably only funny to me...

Perennials are not meant to be put in a pot. They are meant to go in the ground. If you insist on putting one in a pot do not expect it to come back next year. Even though its gets very cold here, plants are still much warmer and happier being in the ground.

A paper plate works just as well as a plastic dish.

Plastic pots will not last forever
Plants are not meant to stay in the pots they come in forever. They need room to grow.

Yes you will get dirty when planting your flowers....your working with dirt

After July 1st you are pushing it if you want to plant perennials. They need time for their roots to take hold and they have to do that before it gets too cold out.

And finally, Go To Lewis!!!! We have the best plants and we actually take care of them. We give you the best price we can for the best plants (for a department store) in Sioux Falls.

Happy Gardening!!!
AH

Just Getting Started

Hello all of you out there reading this blog, if there is anyone out there actually reading this, I would like to say welcome. This is my first ever blog and I'm really excited to get things started. First I should probably tell you all why I decided to start writing. I've always thought blogging looked interesting but what really got me going was my boyfriend Kevin. I started reading his blog after we started dating and then realized that a few of my other friends have blogs as well. After reading theirs I thought well why can't I do this? Then I remembered how awful I am with computers. Yes I do know how to use word and excel, but I had to have my brother help me set up my facebook account. I know, its really depressing that I live in an era of computers and ipods but still had to have help setting up something as simple as a social networking account. Which makes the fact that I set up this blog all by myself incredible.

Since most of my followers, if I get any, will be my friends you can probably skip this part..just saying.

I am a big believer in finding out were people come from so here is a little bit about my family. My dad is a pastor, my mom is a fourth grade teacher and my brother and sister are twins and going to be seniors in high school.

Yes I am a PK (Pastor's Kid). A lot of people judge me as soon as they find out that fact. They either think I'm a little miss perfect or a troubled child who acts out to get attention. Really, I'm just me, or at least I try to be just me. The fact that my father is a pastor isn't that big of a deal. Trust me, my mom is the scary one. But being a pastor's kid is not that easy. I'm supposed to know every person at my church and who their whole family is and what is going on in their life....the truth is I fake it most of the time. I do a lot of "Hey you"s and talk about very generalized topics. So far it works and I make it out of church without making a total fool of myself. One of the bigger downfalls of being a PK is that when I date someone, i.e. Kevin, they not only have to meet my parents, have I mentioned that they are scary people, they also have to meet my church. I can't wait for Kevin to meet everyone but there is also the possibility that my dad will think its funny and announce that he is there or put him in the sermon.... I am very used to being mentioned in the sermon, it happens on almost a monthly occasion, possibly even more frequently when I'm away at school but still for someones first time at the service it can be weird.

So I kinda mentioned this earlier but I do have a bf. His name is Kevin and we have been dating for about a month but only officially bf and gf for three weeks. He is AMAZING!!! I love him so much!!! We click on so many levels! I just wish I could see him every day. He lives in Vermillion this summer while I'm living in Sioux Falls. I can't wait to for school to start cause then I'll get to be with him all the time. He makes me smile and love spending time with him. I can't wait to see how this relationship will evolve.

Well I guess this is enough for my first post... I'll leave you with this
Only you can be the best version of yourself